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The next installment of a weekly series that showcases the three best goals of the week (plus more if we can’t decide), as decided by yours truly. Or us truly. Us trulies? Ah, by the staff here.
Honorable Mention
Gonzalo Higuain
1-1 Milan (1-1 Draw with Cagliari)
Finally, the AC Milan man of the summer gets the break he deserves. After a stunning goal in a glorified friendly against Real Madrid, and a goal reversed by VAR against Roma, we can all celebrate Gonzalo Higuain’s first competitive goal in a red and black shirt. And what a pretty (and somewhat opportunistic and even Inzaghi-esque) one it was, as well. Franck Kessie does poorly to lose a ball on the right touchline, but recovers quickly to put Cagliari defender Simone Padoin under enough pressure to force an errant pass off the legs of the onrushing Ivorian, and into the box behind the line of defenders where Higuain touches wide right, evading the stride and reach of the advancing goalkeeper, Alessio Cragno, before slipping the ball passed the backtracking central defenders and into an open net. Hoping this will be the first of many!
No. 3
Valter Birsa
1-2 Chievo (2-2 Draw with Roma)
So many ex-Milanisti scoring wonder goals this season, huh? This is no different as former Milan and current Chievo Verona midfielder just unloads on AS Roma after a tight build-up from the northern club. Kids and coaches, this is a good example of why you just don’t cross the ball or force a play towards the net when in the final third if there are better options for maintaining possession. The play starts with Barba advancing the ball, and picks out the feet of Giaccherini, on the wide left. You can tell that Giaccherini is interested in moving forward, as his immediate response is turning at going directly at Roma wing-back, Antonio Florenzi. But when Roma converge on him in a triangle of defenders, Giaccherini sends the ball backwards to his trailing center-half, Radovanovic, who is also immediately pressured by N’Zonzi and also moves the ball rearward to Rigoni. While all of this lateral movement forces Roma to adjust to pressure the ball and adjacent spaces accordingly, it also opens up a seam through the middle, which is where the ball is advanced to Birsa, who has enough space for a touch to his favored left foot, before launching a missile over a diving Robin Olsen, who is hopeless, despite getting a hand on it.
No. 2
Souahilo Meite
1-1 Torino (1-1 Draw with Udinese)
What an incredible goal from a seemingly broken play. A misplaced Torino free kick from outside the area by (future Milan player?) Daniele Baselli, crashes into the cluster of bodies near the penalty marker, only to be headed out by Udinese defender, and probable giant, Bram Nuytinck - whose arcing ball reaches a few yards outside the box, but directly onto the head of Roberto Soriano, who heads up and over Seko Fofana, who is turns around just in time to watch Meite receive and turn in one motion, before sending a looping shot into the top corner leaving goalkeeper Simone Scuffet frozen, and probably wondering if he’d be able to stop that if he had a second keeper in there with him.
No. 1
Federico DiMarco
1-0 Parma (1-0 Victory over Inter)
C’mon, were you expecting anything different?! Such magic, I almost wrote a poem about this goal. A tired Inter Milan team breaks down in the later stages off the game, allowing Gervinho to collect a long ball out wide and challenge Stefan de Vrij one on one, which results in a blocked shot and a long carom out of the box to Radja Nainggolan. Despite having a man lightly pressuring from behind him, he should have plenty of time to settle the ball and make a play, but instead, opts to volley it forward somewhat aimlessly and without enough height or power for a proper clearance. Matteo Politano either can’t get on the other end of the volley, or is just overpowered by on-loan-from-Inter-but-playing-at-Parma-player-and-wonder-goal-scorer Federico DiMarco, who collects, skips past Nainggolan’s halfhearted attempt at defending, pushes the ball into an ocean of space and uncorks a shot from 25-30 yards - struck with the outside of his right foot - that just bends away from a literally helpless Samir Handanovic and into the side netting. I would celebrate that goal too, even if the opposition was paying a portion of my salary, especially since that would prove to be the games only goal for Parma’s first win of the season.
Bonus: So many goals to choose from! Some guy named Ronaldo even scored two of them. But, I get to pick so...