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Milan actually beat Cagliari 3-1

Seriously, we did. It's not satire

Marco Luzzani/Getty Images

Two goals from Jeremy Menez and a Philippe Mexes stunner were enough to close out the match.

Menez's first goal was a curler from the right side of the box after he cut to the inside. Cagliari would equalize on a counterattack that saw Mexes turned into butter by Diego Farias.

The defender would get his revenge by scoring a stunning volley from a Menez corner a few minutes later:

Alessio Cerci would be introduced in the later stages. His pace immediately caused problems and the tandem of him and Menez became entirely too much for defenders with tired legs.

He won a penalty that was probably outside of the box, but we're not here to debate. Menez converted the spot-kick and sealed the win. Milan would get two more chances before the end of the match from counterattacks. Cerci raced past the fullback and created a three on one with Menez and Pazzani in the box. Pazzo would then miss from two yards out after receiving the pass.

Cerci would imitate him a few seconds later.

Oh and this also happened: