As news of a deal for Aquilani draws near, and fresh off a Trofeo Berlusconi win, I figured we could all use a laugh. I don't do this often but sometimes a gem appears in the comments and it simply needs to be shared! Thanks to our very own Mighty_Milan.
The Curious case of Mr. X
1. Milan target Fiorentina Midfielder Ricardo Montolivo as a replacement for the departing Andrea Pirlo.
2. They label their target Mr. X
3. Mr. X is not cheap even tho he has a year left in his contract. Milan is reluctant to spend since next year they can get him for free once his contract expires. (Fools, don't they know others will come knocking for this gem & pay its worth to snatch it; if Milan fail to do so).
4. As expected, Bayern & Arsenal come knocking after Milan’s proposal of Montolivo in exchange for player ownership is mocked at by Fiorentina’ s Director of Sport Mr. Pantaleo Corvino.
5. With Mr. X out of reach now, they look for an alternative that is non other than Liverpool FC Midfielder Alberto Aquilani, also known as Mr. Y.
6. Galliani thinks for a minute, "We promised the fans a star signing, but Aquilani is no star. Well, he is good, but he definitely isn’t a star."
7. Braida speaks, "What are we going to tell the fans Adriano, you know they will be upset & it might cost Silvio his up-coming campaign, which if he looses will make him very upset.”
8. Galliani again, "I don't know, let's talk to Presidente maybe he can give us his guidance."
9. Phone rings & guess who is on the other line, non other than our Supermo Silvio Berlusconi (He speaks), "Ciao Galliani, Comes Stai"
10. Galliani: "Hello Presidente, we have a small problem as you can see above from point’s no. 1 to 4. And we seek your guidance to avoid point no. 7."
11. Silvio: "Ahhh Galliani, this is a piece of cake. First go out & link us to Peter Crouch."
12. Galliani: "But Presidente, we have 5 strikers already. And if we wanted a 6th one we can get better than this lanky lamp post."
13. Silvio: "Just listen to me. I love how you come asking me for help, even tho it is rare. But when you do you have to listen to me. And BTW, have I ever failed you with my advices?"
14. Galliani: "No Presidente."
15. Silvio: "Good now listen to me; Go out & start a rumor saying we are negotiating with Peter Crouch's agent before talking to Tottenham. After that the fans will be so depressed / angry with this & they will star insulting us. Once we get them Aquilani, the bastards will be grateful for such a signing that the entire Mr. X hoax you & Allegri have created will be forgiven tho not forgotten (by me)." (Galliani can clearly sense Silvio's devilish grin through the speaker).
16. Galliani: "Presidente that is simply amazing, pure genius. Now the problem is if those Crouch rumors intensify & we end up actually buying him, then what do we do".
17. Silvio: "No problemo, I will have his wife, she will more than make up the salary we pay him".
A swift goodbye from both parties & Galliani starts tweeting the Crouch rumors.
Oh yeah, one more thing, if you missed Prince's goal today, please watch and then proceed to wipe the drool from your face...